Correspondence !!!

Dear All,

I refuse to be hurt by your actions nor mine. I refuse your love, but not mine. I refuse not to be the toy, to bring you joy. I refuse not to be the bait, to bring you shady thoughts. I refuse to give back the heart you have given, but have you? You say you are still lonely with my thoughts, speaks of who ? You call my love a pact and yours "fallen", how deep ?

I only smile, not to show how bad you hurt now. I only have prayers. But then again what’s there in a prayer isn’t it? You call me a friend and a lover and I still smile. You close the doors for you and say I did. You say words you hardly feel. Now you say words that hardly feel. After all I forgot you were a trickster. A fine one at multitasking too.

Wish everything is perfect for you today, tomorrow, everyday. You never met me. You have a perfect dream, not life.

Regards,

Fertility Goddess ...

I was doing my usual read through on Wikipedia, one of the places from where I like to read these days. Somehow the subject today was the very familiar, yet far away one “Goddesses”. One link to another got me on to the page “Fertility Goddesses”. Next image that suddenly came in to my mind is that of hers. I hardly know her. All that I know is I have seen a few images, then again maybe the last one I saw did the trick.

The say they are female deities who watch over and promote fertility, pregnancy and birth. Some directly attributed with sex and some come to life with related attributes. Quite a few were familiar but never really associated all of them as fertility goddess. You will also be quite familiar with Venus, Aphrodite, Freyja, Sophia and of course our own Goddess Uma. I smiled, why her of all the people I know?

I looked at her again and she came back once again with her free flowing long hair, dancing to the tunes of the gentle breeze. Her curvy graceful posture would have lit anyone’s imagination. The gentle radiance was reflecting off her wide forehead. Large sparkling eyes were exuberating divine ecstasy. Tender lotuses like luscious lips were waiting to be devoured. Her hands now deciphered an inviting mudra. Skin was glowing with the brilliance of a 1000 fireflies. Bare mounds were luscious and full. She was as fertile as any other goddesses from the Indus Valley. The air now filled with the aroma of turmeric and jasmines. There she was “My Fertility Goddess” personified…

Are you happy ?

I was sitting glued on to my desk top, when my mobile said “beep – beep”. I hesitantly pulled it out from my trousers. I had in a hurry, forgotten it there. The message read “Hate you … truly madly deeply”. I smiled. “Me too” I replied back and got back to what I was doing. It was only in the evening when I was done for the day, that I checked my inbox again. There she was smiling at me, truly, madly, deeply.

I wondered, how can two people hate each other truly, madly, deeply? And even if they did, how were they able to communicate it with a smile? I realised people hate each other when their expectations from the other are let down. For a moment I thought I did? Is it not better to hate, when you cannot otherwise.

Call Sender. There she was on the other end, with her bubbly chirpy voice. Just the same way I had cherished it in the morning. She started off again and I felt guilty. Earlier in the day, she had just said hello. And I continued, you have done it better than you expected. She was silent for some time and said she hated me for that. Why do you always know, what I am about to say and what I am thinking? Maybe I just know what you are thinking and I better understand your thoughts. We continued on for some time with a promise that I would ring her in the evening.

Almost when I finished, I remembered someone else was waiting for me. A wait to find me? There are times when I have wished you called. You know that sometimes, when I really don’t have myself. The times when we strolled on the beach together, that sometimes when we walked in the rain and time when you painted the summer for me. You have already started hating me haven’t you? Truly, Madly, Deeply …

Like she said, why did you get worried? We all know the rules, though often we are tempted to forget them. Come, let’s play again. Let us be happy in our world, where words come alive, birds play around us, flowers allure us with its fragrance, where dreams come alive and urge us to write … “I feel the bliss here. I’m happy here”.